Juliet Lever“Welcome to The Dream Life Diary – Week 14”
DREAM
– Journal entry, Friday 15 July 2016 –
It’s 4.30pm on Friday afternoon and I am sitting in our hotel room at the Holiday Inn Phoenix on our way to Denver tomorrow.
There is so much I want to say….
Sedona was beautiful. We camped, rode bikes, hiked, swam and explored the town. I made some jewellery, did a drawing lesson, cooked a meal for everyone… I really unwound. We meditated a lot too. A lot more time going inwards, after so much travelling and being ‘out and about’.
The biggest difference I have noticed in myself since reconnecting to my internal world has been in truly embracing all other women as reflections of me.
I am still reflecting on an experience I had back when we were in Las Vegas was when we went to a striptease show (at my suggestion)… it changed me and got me thinking about the idea of ‘sexiness’ and ‘sensuality’ as women.
I wanted to go because I have never been to a strip club, and felt like it was something I should experience in my life.
And it made me feel fucking uncomfortable…
Even though it was just a topless show (and quite tasteful) the physical reaction I had before walking in was intense.
I felt sick to the stomach and shut down emotionally – I didn’t even want to talk to Paul.
I really didn’t want to go.
I felt like the women about to come on stage were so beautiful, more perfect, sexy and empowered in a way that I had never been ‘given permission to be’…
I felt like I was also betraying other women I know who have been upset by their partners who go to strip-clubs – as if I were supporting and condoning the industry that gets so much judgement amongst women.
I also acknowledged the fear I felt underneath it all was that Paul would be more turned on by them than he is by me. Ick, I really didn’t want to feel and acknowledge that one…!
But, as I always do when I feel discomfort these days – I face it and push through it.
When the show began I held Paul’s hand lovingly and fell into a trance watching the beautiful, varied women dancing on stage topless.
The first thing I noticed was that they were all having so much fun!
It was truly so beautiful and liberating seeing these incredible women fully bare and exposed and I felt a deep connection with my own inner sensual side (some call it the inner goddess)… I’m talking about the part of all of us women that wants to be free, open, admired – emotionally and physically naked.
As the show went on I saw my judgements ease and I realised I liked watching the women with natural/imperfect breasts because they jiggled just like mine and pointed out the ones that I thought were the most beautiful and sexy.
Seeing the women’s bodies also inspired me to take better care of my body, and learn to dance and move my body more fluidly!
Great inspiration…
As I continued to absorb the show and saw the different stripteases I even started to feel sexy and sensual… for the first time in my life. I’ve been told that I am sexy but I never really felt it. I always felt a little self-conscious or awkward if I’m truly honest.
I have been thinking about my life and why I haven’t felt sexy before…
– and I really don’t think I’m the only woman disconnected from this side of herself –
Because, to be honest – at what point does the sexy and sensual, empowered side of us women truly develop?
And who tells us when we are and are not ‘allowed’ to be sexy?
First of all, we aren’t allowed to be openly sexy before the age of 18, otherwise we could be called ‘jailbait… and there is an awkward time as a teenage girl when you really don’t want to be seen as sexy around your Dad, uncles, cousins, family friends etc.
But, if we wait ’til we are 18 then haven’t we already developed our identity and who we are as a woman… ?
So by then is it too late to develop it?
Then if we try to develop our sensual side after that age it can feel so awkward for a lot of us to try. Or we might try to find it in a tacky tantra course or lame dance class…
I personally think for us women, it is challenging to know when it’s politically correct to be sexy/sensual and when it’s not acceptable.
Sometimes when we are embracing our sensual or sexy side then also we can be afraid of ‘leading men on’ and get unwanted attention.
And our partners may be threatened by us displaying this empowered side of ourselves, so we shut it down to make our partners feel safe.
In the workplace it’s not acceptable to invoke this side of ourselves because it can be seen as manipulative.. so it’s safer to act like men in the workplace too!
And I’ve noticed that when some (not all) women see another woman being sexy or sensual what a large percentage do is judge the woman displaying this trait (very harshly, and usually behind her back)… but I believe it’s actually because deep down these judgemental women feel a deep sense of loss at not being able to express this powerful side openly themselves – and probably don’t know how to!
So, sadly, we shut down this sensual, alluring and magical side of ourselves…
It’s so much safer to play it safe and never be sexy and empowered than deal with all of that!
I believe there is a part of all of us women that wants to feel safe to be naked, open and vulnerable – and be admired and appreciated as the work of art that we all are.
And there is a part of all men that deeply desire to see this side of us – all of us, no matter what our shape or size. That’s why stripshows are so enticing to men – these women are free… liberated… and lifting the curtain to them on a magical world.
At the risk of sounding taboo, as a result of my experience I feel like if more of us women watched other women being sexy (with our partners!) it would unlock our free uninhibited sides… and deepen our connection with ourselves as women.
The more connected you are to yourself, the more connected you can be with your partner.
That’s why I am so passionate at teaching my clients to look and explore beyond the things they judge I suppose.
Because when we move beyond the judgement of something that is pushing our buttons that’s where the power lies.
I have unlocked a great deal of power by going into my fear – and the closeness and liberation I felt after facing that fear of going to a strip show was amazing. And now I find myself appreciating every woman I encounter from a truly beautiful place, and I am so much more connected to Paul at a deeper level.
Women are truly magical creatures – especially when we are connected to the fact that we are magical creatures…
P.S. If your partner tries to make fun of you or shuts you down when you are connecting into this sensual magical side of yourself it’s only because he is threatened – because there is SO much power that lies in you connecting to this side of yourself. If your partner is self-confident then he will encourage you to bring more and more of this empowered side of yourself through. Just keep reassuring him how much you love him as you start becoming empowered…
P.P.S. If this blog post loses you as a reader, thank you for your support up until now 🙂 Sending love to you on your journey of self discovery! – Otherwise, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic and if any of it resonates with you.
xx Breathe, Go Slowly and Know That You’re Loved xx
Juliet
LIFE
– Inspiration or Soul Nourishment –
“A woman is one of the most beautiful phenomena in the world; not to be compared with anything else. The woman is the masterpiece of god.” – OSHO
DIARY
– A question for your diary/journalling practice –
QUESTION:
How can you embrace your sensual, magical side this week?
If you need some inspiration and are just starting out, my favourite go to is to put on some beautiful music when no one is home and dance in front of a mirror with some of your favourite lingerie on. And appreciate your curves and imperfections. Just you!
* Please email me or comment below and let me know….
The Dream Life Diary is written by Juliet Lever, International Lifestyle Redesign Expert and Retreat Facilitator.
THE DREAM LIFE DIARY – a boost of three quick elements of inspiration for you every single Monday.
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DREAM – A real, raw, journal entry from my personal journey in the past week
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LIFE – Something in the world that has inspired me or nourished my soul this week
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DIARY – A question for you to reflect upon to boost your own diary/journalling practice
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